Civil War broke out today in Украина when local warlords launched a volley of nuclear weapons at each other in an surprise attack. The International Community is still awaiting a statement from Украина officials, who seem to have lost all contact with the outside world, and are believed to be trapped inside thier bunkers without radio communications after the resulting electromagnetic pulse fried the circuitry in local transmission towers and radioactive fallout has initiated a lockdown on all bunker exits until is clears in aproximately 24 hours. Armies from many friendly and hostile Alliances await patiently on the border, some offering Relief Aid, while others twirl thier moustaches, snickering maliciously at the prospect of expanding thier territories at the expense of the newly mutated Украинско citizens.
"This struggle has no end and will have no end. The kingdom of God, as it is written, is attained through violence," prophecised the radioactively reincarnated corpse of Lev Isaakovich Shestov, before attepmting to once again flee to Paris and see if he could seek refuge in the loving arms of the grand-daughter of Julia Kristeva.
Ms Kristeva has reportedly rejected the request, stating that "he stands on the fragile threshold as if stranded on account of an impossible demarcation."
In other news, Rabban's terrorist forces continue thier random march across the globe, leaving behind occupying forces in the city of Timbuktu. A nuclear counter-attack in Kindu is alledged to have defeated his newly conscripted force of Congolese warriors before duct tape rations arrived.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
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